Sunday, July 26, 2009


Hurray for back-to-back posts. I need to get gearing up to put together an animatic, so I typed up a quick script help me better envision the flow of the film. I'm still not very convinced about the ending, though. I need to keep it short and snappy since I can see this getting pretty lengthy, but I want to know if I can build tension better/have a punchier ending.

The Patissier (Working Script)

Front-on full shot of the bakery. The street is a typically Parisian and the bakery is small and old fashioned, nestled among numerous taller apartment buildings.

Title: The Patissier

Cut to inside of bakery. Side pan along to the back of the room where diagonal benches lead to the patissier sitting next to a large wedding cake. The patissier appears small and diminished.

Cut to mid shot of baker, sitting with his face rested on one palm and the other hand fiddling with the cake toppers on the wedding cake.

Baker: picks the bride up and looks at it longingly.

Cut to over the shoulder shot, with the baker in the FG and the store-front window in the BG.

Baker: sighs with wedding topper in hand. He slumps down and looks out the window.

Insert shot of street as seen through the window. Lovers can be seen sitting happily on benches.

Cut back to mid shot of baker looking intently at the wedding topper.

Baker: Springs up to an upright position. “That’s it!”

Cut to still of a messy counter-top. Bowls are strewn about with left over batter and frosting still in them. A bag of flour and other cake ingredients are also left on the counter.

Cut to American shot of baker, his back to the camera.

Baker: busily adds final touches to his creation. He turns around to face the camera at a ¾ position, wiping the sweat from his brow.

On the counter he reveals a double layer cake, made to slightly resemble a woman.

High angle shot of cake-bride resting on counter.

Cut to low angle mid shot of baker looking down at cake.

Baker: blushes slowly and smiles as he twiddles his fingers. No other body movement.

MONTAGE SEQUENCE: Shots of the baker and his cake in romantic date situations.
• The two at a cafĂ©, sitting outside with crepes.
• The two picnicking on a hill, looking up at clouds shaped like objects.
• The two on a small rowboat in a pond, surrounded by swan.


Cut to long shot of the two on the viewing deck of the Eiffel Tower, overlooking the city at night.

Baker: After staring at the cake lovingly, he reaches into pocket and pulls out a small box. He reaches over to hold the cakes’s lollipop arms, and leans in for a kiss.

Cut to close up of cake’s lollipop arm. A diamond ring glistens under the stars.

Cut to a different scene. The shot is still the same, with a close up of the ring, but the BG is different.

Zoom out to long shot of a messy living room. The cake-bride is placed on a couch. A TV is directly in front of her and turned on. The lights flicker casting shadows on the cake. The room is strewn with dirty laundry and dishes with food remnants on them.

Cut to American shot of baker walking through a door.

Baker: opens door looking exhausted from a long days’ work. His patissier’s uniform has splotches of cream and frosting on it. “I’m home!”

Cut back to long shot of living room, with the baker standing behind the couch looking at his wife.

Cut to mid shot of baker leaning in for a kiss from his wife. The cake remains stationary, as if fixated on the TV. The baker opens his eyes and leans in closer (still puckered up). The cake doesn’t move. The baker opens his eyes with a disappointed expression.

Baker: walks screen left off screen.

Cut to mid shot of baker.

Baker: holds a photograph in his hands and looks down on it sorrowfully.

Cut to insert shot of the photo. The photo is of the two on their wedding day. The bride is outfitted with a veil, and the baker proudly holds it up next to him, beaming happily.

Cut back to mid shot of baker.

Baker: looks up from photograph.

Cut to mid shot still of wife on couch. Her form has become less defined than usual, and her frosting has started to drip down. Her eyes are slightly misaligned.

Zoom in to extreme close up of cake’s lower layer. A decorative cherry that suggests where her left breast would be falls off.

Cut back to mid shot of baker.

Baker: with face aghast and eyes staring blankly towards his bride, he crumples the photograph slowly.

Cut to high angle close up shot of a dessert fork on a counter. The baker picks it up.

Cut to long shot of baker standing with back towards the camera. In the BG is the cake still on the couch.

Baker: holds the fork behind his back. Slowly, he lifts it up in the air, poised and murderous.

Credits: integrated into a still of a newspaper, with headlines reading:
“Disillusioned Husband Murders Sweet Wife” and “Wife’s Laziness and Carelessness to Blame?”


What say you? I know it's hard to envision without an animatic, so I'll be posting that once it's done as well.

1 delicious replies:

Lady Garland said...

This is so you! I can't wait to see the final product! For some reason, I keep thinking of sugarplum fairies...XD